A New Perception of Myself

When I was younger, I had a list of things I absolutely hated about myself.

My height – I was taller than some of the boys in my class!

My freckles – why couldn’t I just have normal skin?

My name – If I heard “what page are we on, Paige?” one. more. time…

And most of all, my big butt and “thunder thighs.”

I think most girls feel this way, growing up. The grass is always greener. The short, brunette girl with curls who I wanted to be? She probably wished she were taller and had blonde hair.

It’s funny, because all of these qualities that I used to hate, are now my favorite features about myself. They separate me from everyone else, and make me me. I now love my 5’9 stature! I can reach things that are high up, and I can gain 5 lbs. and still be able to zip up my jeans. Instead of trying to bleach out my freckles with lemon juice, I let them show through, and don’t even cover them up by wearing foundation or anything like that. I now love my name, and when someone says, “Paige,” I likely know that they’re speaking to me, and not one of the other 10 girls who (don’t) have my name in the room.

And most of all, I own and love my bottom half. For a tall white girl, I’ve had a “bubble butt” for as long as I can remember. Remember that song, “Big Ol’ Butt” by LL Cool J? Oh, come on…I know you remember!

Ha! Ohhh, 1990.

Want to hear a funny story?

The other day, when I was at the Denver Ski & Snowboarding expo, I was getting SO frustrated because a) it was a million degrees, b) there were a million people, and c) no snow pants would fit me. They were either too short, too tight in the butt and thighs, or, mostly, both. My awesome friend, Katie, could tell I was about to implode, and went over to a kind woman working, and asked her what brands she recommended for someone who was tall and had a big butt – LOL! I had to laugh at that, and – surprise, surprise, we found a pair that fit just minutes after.

Yes, I used to hate my butt and thighs.  But now? Now I train them the hardest in the gym. They’re my biggest muscles, and they help me dead lift, squat, swing, jump, run, push, climb, and hike.

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The only thing I don’t really like is never being able to find jeans, as evidenced by my utter frustration while squeezing on ill-fitting pairs, here.

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I’m really not sure how this transition happens in a girls life – when we go from hating certain qualities in themselves, to loving them. I’m 28, and I know it’s taken me around a quarter of a century.

What’s something that you disliked about yourself when you were younger that you love now?

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Comments

  1. AMEN! I used to hate my strong, muscular legs…now I think they’re fantastic :)

  2. I don’t understand WHY athletic clothing companies generally don’t make stuff for us girls with big butts and thighs! We work out it’s going to happen. I’m short 5’2 with a bigger butt and thighs with a small waist. Nothing ever fits completely right. I used to hate them still do when my family gives me grief over them, but really it’s the result of 2 amazing 50 milers last year, hours of climbing and hours of lifting. I don’t love the chafing, but I won’t apologize for the muscle. Just wish active clothing companies would stop thinking yoga bodies and think athletes. Not saying yoga isn’t an amazing workout you just don’t tend to bulk up doing it!

  3. I can relate SO much to this, Paige! I’m still in high school, so those kinds of negative body image thoughts loom my head often. I’ve always been really self-conscious about my thighs as well. The ladies on my mom’s side of the family generally have bigger lower bodies and smaller upper bodies. But like you, I’ve come to appreciate my legs because I work those muscles the most in the gym and they help me in dance tremendously.
    Thans so much for this post!
    Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves recently posted..Shifting Fitness GoalsMy Profile

  4. I used to hate my wide hips, but after giving birth to a 9lb 3oz baby with “ease” I’m thankful! Especially after hearing stories from other people without such accomodating birthing hips…
    Jen recently posted..15 Month Check-upMy Profile

  5. Love this post girl! I have the same sentiment toward my body. I used to hate my curls because they were different–now I love them! I used to hate how short I am— but now I love that I can wear heels and never be taller than anyone! ;)
    Brittany @ Delights and Delectables recently posted..Butternut Squash Chili in a Pumpkin BowlMy Profile

  6. I used to hate my curly hair and now I like it.
    Lee recently posted..A Post About FrostiesMy Profile

  7. Awesome post lady! I grew up always hating the fact that my body veered towards an ‘apple shape’, and was disappointed that I couldn’t wear midriffs like everyone else. But, I’ve learned to focus on the positives in my body type – for example, I can wear shorts and skirts like no one’s business! ;-)
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted..Book Review: Allegiant.My Profile

  8. I’ve always been really self conscious about my midsection.
    Jackie recently posted..{Tasty Tuesday} Chicken and Broccoli casseroleMy Profile

  9. this is such a great post!! I have always looked in the mirror and found things to hate about myself but as I have gotten older I have realized that I have great aspects about my body that I need to start appreciating! I don’t know what changed in my mind set, maybe just maturity.

  10. I pretty much could write the same post about myself! I have a unique name (that no can remember or spell), also 5’9″, and am a member of the “bubble butt” club. You are so right, these are some of my favorite features! I can rock the heck out of pants, no “mom jeans” flat backside here. I still have bad body days, but my husband is so supportive and always pulls me out of the comparison trap.

    I really think this is a coming of age thing. I am also 28, and slowly, very slowly, am learning that I have everything I need to be happy with myself. I only get one shot at life with this body, and I have to say its a pretty good one! ;)

    It’s just sad to think of all the years I wasted on denying myself the love I needed from myself.

  11. oh it is so funny how suddenly we’re just love and accept our body parts (even facial features!) as we grow up. i am 29 and i definitely have noticed myself (in the past year) becoming happier with who i am and realizing it’s not going to change unless i make it! and learning to live w/ the stuff i can’t change. like my midget stature. ha! hello, heels!
    christina recently posted..Beauty Box 5 November 2013My Profile

  12. I love this Paige- It’s actually a great alignment to my post for tomorrow.
    I use to HATE my feet when I was younger. I called them man feet. ;) Now, I couldn’t care less- they are long, narrow, and I have long toes! I actually think they’re pretty.
    Cori @ olivetorun recently posted..Sometimes, We All Just Need A Little ReminderMy Profile

  13. My middle name is page, and when I was younger they would say Brittany “turn the page!” sooo annoying! hahah Love this post.

  14. I used to hate my curly hair and now I love it! I also hated that I have the flattest chest, but hey, now I love that it makes buying clothes so much easier and I can wear low-cut things without looking provocative!

  15. My eldest daughter’s middle name is Paige and we tossed up making it her first name so I think you have a beautiful name!

    I also have a bubble butt I used to hate but have come to embrace!!
    Jess recently posted..Weekend ThingsMy Profile

  16. I used to really hate my curly hair… until my friend got diagnosed with cancer and went through chemo. It was through that that I learned to embrace the hair I have, and I love it now!
    Caroline recently posted..How I Started Working Out with POTSMy Profile

  17. Yes! I’m so with you on this, but mine happened later in life. I was just thinking about how I really am happy with me right now. No, I’m not perfect and there are things that I wish were better (like I wish I didn’t have mesh where my abs were after my tumor), but these are things I can’t change. I make the best of what I have and I’m fortunate to be where I’m at these days.

    My thunder thighs were it for me too, but now, I love how strong my legs are. Love this post my friend!
    Sarena (The Non Dairy Queen) recently posted..COFFEE and Gluten Free Apple Spiced DonutsMy Profile

  18. You said it – the grass is always greener! I am just shy of 5’9 but have a more “boyish” figure (i.e. narrow hips and more “athletic” waist) and I’d kill to have a big ‘ol butt! My jeans are always saggy on the tush, so I say, cherish that bum, girl!

  19. I think learning to love yourself comes with maturity. When I was in school, I wanted to be shorter & I wanted blonde hair. Now, I actually wouldn’t mind being taller but I don’t give too much thought to physical features anymore. In fact, I was just telling my husband the other day that it means so much more to me when someone compliments my character or my work as opposed to my hair, body etc. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized hair color isn’t nearly as important as I thought it was in the 9th grade. Haha
    Ashley@cupcakesncrunches recently posted..These are a Few of My Favorite (Beauty) ThingsMy Profile

  20. This is a great post! The main thing I have to say on it? Just that I love your perspective. :D I like my short stature now (used to want to be taller, like you mentioned above!) and although my bunion-ed feet are a bit ugly and odd, I like to think of them as having character and don’t mind their slight unsightliness. ;) Great post; thanks for sharing!
    Bonnie recently posted..Cancer & ExerciseMy Profile

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